


Snusband (Snake Husband)

by mechamangamonkey



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, One Shot, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Author Should Have Gone to Sleep Nearly Two Hours Ago, ineffable husbands, no betas we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 15:02:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20744147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechamangamonkey/pseuds/mechamangamonkey
Summary: One of Aziraphale’s “customers”—they’re not actually customers, of course, since he doesn’t sell them anything—is flirting with him, and Crowley is not having it.





	Snusband (Snake Husband)

Crowley sighed inwardly and rolled his eyes as he listened to a certain one of Aziraphale’s customers (or rather, “customers,” since he never wanted to sell any of them anything) make another attempt at flirting with him. Aziraphale, of course, completely ignored her—that, or he was completely oblivious to the fact that she was flirting with him at all. Either way, Crowley couldn’t stand to keep listening to her, especially not now that he and Aziraphale were finally together after 6,000 years and one failed Apocalypse. He shifted into his snake form and slipped off of the couch, making his way through the shop in the direction of their voices.

Upon finding Aziraphale and the woman, Crowley let out a hiss to get their attention. He had to bite back a laugh when she nearly screamed in terror at the enormous black-and-red serpent slithering towards them. Aziraphale managed to convince her to calm down and not call animal control just before she promptly hurried out of the shop, narrowly managing to avoid tripping over Crowley on her way out.

Aziraphale looked down and fixed Crowley with a reproachful stare as he wound his way around Aziraphale’s legs and torso and brought his head to rest on his angel’s shoulder. Sighing, Aziraphale reached up and stroked the top of Crowley’s serpentine head affectionately. He shifted back into his human form, his arms wrapped around Aziraphale and his head still resting on the angel’s shoulder. Crowley pressed a soft kiss to Aziraphale’s cheek.

“Was that _really_ necessary, my dear? You gave that poor woman such a fright,” Aziraphale admonished, only half-serious.  
“Of course it was necessary. Jealousy is a sin, I’m a demon. Just doing what I do best,” Crowley remarked playfully.  
“Darling, there’s absolutely no reason for you to be jealous.”  
“She was _flirting_ with you, angel.”  
“Yes, and being quite obvious about it. Obviously, her affections were unreturned.”  
“I _know,_ I know, it’s just that, well, now that I finally have you all to myself after six bloody millennia, I don’t much like the idea of sharing.”  
“Oh, so it’s greed, then? That’s funny, I thought you said it was jealousy.”  
“It’s _love,_ angel.”  
“I know, you silly serpent.”

Crowley spun Aziraphale around and leaned in to kiss him. Aziraphale reached up to run his fingers through Crowley’s hair as Crowley lifted one hand long enough to snap his fingers, turning the shop’s sign from open to closed and miracling the door locked, before returning it to Aziraphale’s side.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know where this idea came from, but I wrote this on my phone in the middle of the night when I should have been asleep.


End file.
